If you are at the bottom of your priority list, flip it upside down, sister (or brother; people-pleasing knows no gender-gap).
Even though the weight of making sure everyone around us is happy, at the expense of our own well-being, usually feels the most suffocating to my fellow ladies.
Why is that? I’m no emotional intelligence expert, but even without any kind of official credentials or fancy degrees, it’s safe to say that somewhere along the winding evolutionary road, there were some checkpoints with wonky information that were later accepted as widespread truths.
All living, breathing humans, but mostly women, have been led to live by the example that we are less valued or appreciated if we don’t do everything in our power to make sure that other people are happy, content and fulfilled.
There is an unspoken belief that without saying, doing, or being a person that is most proper, polished or anti-problematic – in other words, one who is speaking, thinking or living in a way that serves and supports others, regardless if those thoughts, words and actions reflect our own true feelings, wants and needs – then we aren’t rising up to the (false) expectations of the commitment to being the right kind of partner, friend, mom, father, son, brother, daughter, sister, coworker, neighbor – the list is long, am I right?
That sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? If you are feeling as emotionally and mentally wiped as I am, I’m guessing it’s because you have given all of your heart and soul’s fire to other people without saving or storing any fuel to spark your own spirit first.
You are at the end of your tank, completely gassed out. I hear you, lady – or gent, I can’t forget the fellas – you have done a lot this year for other people. It’s okay to be tired. You deserve some serious R&R.
When you start writing your priority list for the new year, please put yourself at the top of your list of important things.
Never lose sight of this: The people, the passions and the purposes that are meant for you will not fall away from you if you shift your focus to you.
In fact, finding you is the key to finding your true happiness.